Listen to my testimony
The Evergreen Freedom Foundation commemorates those who valiantly serve and have served the United States of America.
Posted: 5/31/2010 
Tags: evergreen,freedom,foundation,memorial,army,navy,marines,air force,thanks,coast,guard,national 
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Brian regan talks about flying and airport stuff.
Australian comedy group 'Axis Of Awesome' perform a sketch from the 2009 Melbourne International Comedy Festival. Footage courtesy of Network Ten Australia.
The Snuggo doesn't just keep you warm... it'll make you HOT!
Globe Fluorescent Bulbs (A safety thing)
An opinion I received:
China manufactures inferior products and I think they are trying to kill us with most of them. There is also the issue of lack of proper disposal for CFL bulbs as they contain mercury. These bulbs have flooded the market because of the global warming idiots and are made in China because it is cheaper to do so. You get what you pay for...
Below is a photo of a CFL light bulb from my bathroom. I turned it on the other day and then smelled smoke after a few minutes. Four inch flames were spewing out of the side of the ballast like a blow torch! I immediately turned off the lights. But I'm sure it would have caused a fire if I was not right there. Imagine if the kids had left the lights on as usual when they were not in the room.
I took the bulb to the Fire Department today to report the incident. The fireman wasn't at all surprised and said that it was not an uncommon occurrence. Apparently, sometimes when the bulb burns out there is a chance that the ballast can start a fire. He told me that the Fire Marshall had issued reports about the dangers of these bulbs.
Upon doing some internet research, it seems that bulbs made by Globe in China seem to have the lion's share of problems. Lots of fires have been blamed on misuse of CFL bulbs, like using them in recessed lighting, pot lights, dimmers or in track lighting. Mine was not in any of those. It was a normal light socket.
I bought these at Wal-Mart. I will be removing all the Globe bulbs from my house. We are going back to incandescent bulbs at this point.
No one has sent me anything good lately so I am punishing you by making you watch this video.
A Little Spin For You Students Of Science
The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.
Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you, and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct...leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"
California Should Be Thanking Arizona
Bob says...
If California thinks illegal immigration is good for the economy, shouldn't they be happy that Arizona is sending so many more illegals to their bankrupt state?
U3-X Personal Mobility Prototype
With U3-X Honda rethinks the concept of personal mobility, providing the rider with freedom of movement in any direction forward, backward, sideways and diagonally by simply leaning slightly in the desired direction. The lightweight and compact one-wheeled device also features a foldable seat and retractable footrests. A lithium-ion battery pack provides power for up to one-hour of use and can be recharged by plugging in to a conventional household or office 120-volt power outlet.
Weighing roughly 22 pounds, U3-X uses an advanced Honda proprietary balance-control system which derives from its research into human walking dynamics for the development of the ASIMO bi-pedal humanoid robot. To realize full freedom of movement in all directions, the U3-X also employs the worlds first omni-directional driving wheel system (Honda Omni Traction Drive System) which utilizes a series of concentrically mounted wheels a larger, forward and backward moving inner wheel and a series of smaller sideways moving outer wheels. Diagonal motion is achieved when both forward and sideways moving wheels operate in tandem.
In addition, the compact size and one-wheel-drive design of U3-X was intended to provide user-friendly and pedestrian-friendly operation with low-mounted foot pedals that make it easy for the rider to reach the ground, and a seat height that places the rider at approximately the same eye-level as other people.
"The Great Reneger" was written, produced and sung by Michael Fischer.
Social Media Revolution 2 is a refresh of the original video with new and updated social media & mobile statistics that are hard to ignore. Based on the book Socialnomics by Erik Qualman.
The Cure - Lullaby [Music Video]
Warning: This video may be disturbing to those with fear of spiders.
A comedian rants about how much it sucks to play Pachelbel''s Canon in D on a cello. Recorded live at Penn State, by comedian/musician Rob Paravonian.
According to Bob...
Thousands of illegal immigrants are now registered to vote in this country.
Dear Ryan. Can you defeat a real ninja?
This is the hostess for an Italian TV talk show...
This is the hostess for an American TV talk show...
I am moving to italy!
A panda bear walks into a bar and orders a sandwich. The waiter brings him the sandwich. The panda bear eats it, pulls out a pistol, kills the waiter, and gets up and starts to walk out.
The bartender yells for him to stop. The panda bear asks, "What do you want?" The bartender replies, "First you come in here, order food, kill my waiter, then try to go without paying for your food."
The panda bear turns around and says, "Hey! I'm a Panda. Look it up!" The bartender goes into the back room and looks up panda bear in the encyclopedia, which read: "Panda: a bear-like marsupial originating in Asian regions. Known largely for it's stark black and white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves."
Greed is everywhere as well as stupidity. The world has gone mad yet they talk about those stupid Tea Party people...
If this picture does not convince you we have to close the Mexican border, then I wonder what will.
I heard that the Arizona bill for illegals, school, language instruction, welfare, food stamps, and health care is over $1 billion per year. It must be several times more in CA and Texas each.
We must stop this before we go broke, and lose our culture. Write or call your
congressman to secure the Mexican border.
I took a Cadillac Escalade out for a test drive, just to drive that sucker before they become extinct. The salesman sat in the back seat describing the car and all its wonderful options. The seats were of particular interest.
He explained that the seats directed warm air to your butt in the winter and cool air to your butt in the summer. I stated the car must be a Republican car.
Looking a bit angry, he asked why I thought it was a Republican car. I explained that if it were a Democrat car, the seats would blow smoke up your ass year-round.
I had to walk back to the dealership, but it was worth it.
The first part of the video shows Republican women. Try to guess which song they will play for the Democratic women. Verry funny!
Montebello High School in California
You will not see this heart-stopping photo on the front page of the NY Times, nor on the lead story of the major news networks. The protestors at Montebello High School took the American flag off the school's flag pole and hung it upside down while putting up the Mexican flag over it.
I really did not see where this ad was heading. Very funny.
Dom DeLuise does an egg trick on the Johnny Carson show. Things get a little out of hand after the trick.
Noah Photographs Himself Every Day For 6 Years.
Noah takes a photo of himself every day for 6 years.
Four little boys were concerned because they couldn't get anyone to play with them. They decided it was because they had not been baptized and didn't go to Sunday school.
So they went to the nearest church. But only the janitor was there.
One little boy said, "We need to be baptized because no one will come out and play with us. Will you baptize us?"
"Sure," said the janitor. He took them into the bathroom and dunked their little heads in the toilet bowl, one at a time. Then he said, "You are now baptized!"
When they got outside, one of them asked, "'What religion do you think we are?"
The oldest one said, "We're not Kathlick, because they pour the water on you."
"We're not Babtis , because they dunk all of you in the water."
"We're not Methdiss, because they just sprinkle water on you."
The littlest one said, "Didn't you smell that water?"
They all joined in asking, "Yeah! What do you think that means?"
"I think it means we're Pisskopailians!"
One-Sidedness Now Epidemic In Newsrooms
Obama Double Standard Disease: an affliction that causes the media to ignore, rationalize or trivialize to defend, support and advance the tax-the-rich, spread-the-wealth, expand-the-government agenda of the president and his party.
Kevin Levar - A Heart That Forgives
A very powerful video from Kevin Levar. Just watch it - you will see what I mean.
Like a lot of folks in this state, I have a job. I work, they pay me. I pay my taxes and the government distributes my taxes as it sees fit. In order to get that paycheck, I am required to pass a random urine test with which I have no problem. What I do have a problem with is the distribution of my taxes to people who don’t have to pass a urine test.
Shouldn't one have to pass a urine test to get a welfare check because I have to pass one to earn it for them? Please understand, I have no problem with helping people get back on their feet. I do, on the other hand, have a problem with helping someone sitting on their butt doing drugs, while I work. Can you imagine how much money the state would save if people had to pass a urine test to get a public assistance check?
I guess we could title that program, 'Urine or You're Out'.
We have stuck together since the late 1950's, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has run its course. Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right, so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile; slate it up to irreconcilable differences, and go on our own ways.
Here is a model dissolution agreement:
Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement.
After that it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes. We don't like re distributive taxes so you can keep them. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU.
Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA, and the military. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore, and Rosie O'Donnell (you are however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move them).
We'll keep the capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart, and Wall Street. You can have your beloved homeless, homeboys, hippies, and illegal aliens. We'll keep the hot Alaskan Hockey Moms, greedy CEO's, and Rednecks. We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood.
You can make nice with Iran, Palestine , and France, and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us. You can have the peaceniks and war protestors. When our allies or way of life are under assault, we'll provide them job security.
We'll keep our Judeo-Christian Values. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, and Shirley McClain. You can have the U.N. But we will no longer be paying the bill. We'll keep the SUV's, pickup trucks, and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Subaru Station Wagon you can find.
You can give everyone healthcare, if you can find any practicing Doctors (that is practicing, Howard Dean) who will follow you to your turf.
We'll keep The Battle Hymn of the Republic and the National Anthem. I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute Imagine, I'd Like to Teach The World To Sing, Kum Ba Ya, or We Are the World.
We'll practice trickle down economics, and you can give trickle up poverty its best shot.
Since it often so offends you we'll keep our History, our Name, and our Flag.
In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you ANWAR on who will need whose help in 15 years.
Sincerely,
Charlie the Happy American
P.S. Please take Barbra Streisand, too.
The Perfect Solution To Senior Health Care
While discussing the upcoming Universal Health Care Program with my sister-in-law the other day, I think we have found the solution. I am sure you have heard the ideas that if you’re a senior you need to suck it up and give up the idea that you need any health care. A new hip? Unheard of. We simply can’t afford to take care of you anymore. You don’t need any medications for your high blood pressure, diabetes, heart problems, etc. Let’s take care of the young people. After all, they will be ruling the world very soon.
So here is the solution. When you turn 70, you get a gun and 4 bullets. You are allowed to shoot 2 senators and 2 representatives. Of course, you will be sent to prison where you will get 3 meals a day, a roof over your head and all the health care you need! New teeth, great! Need glasses, no problem. New hip, knee, kidney, lung, heart? Well bring it on. And who will be paying for all of this? The same government that just told you that you are too old for health care. And, since you are a prisoner, you don’t have to pay any income tax.
I really think we have found a Perfect Solution!